Sculpin

I’m still pretty sore from yoga yesterday. We did a series of standing poses: trikonasana, then trikonasana against the wall (concentrating on the back leg), then a preparation for utthita parsvakonasana (my current yoga nemesis), then prep for virabhradrasana I. By the time I was done with that, I was so tired that, when savasana time came around, it took a few seconds before I was able to figure out how to put my socks on. I wasn’t quite sure what they were, though I knew they had something to do with cold feet. I just looked at them and thought, “They are floppy tubes. One end is shut. Mrr?”

Once again a newish student asked me when I’m going to move on to (his words) advanced yoga. I never quite know what to say, especially when Slow Beginner Yoga has just kicked my ass so hard. I gave ordinary Level I a try a few weeks ago, and there was too much standing up for me even in a first class. It gets more vigorous as it goes on, and in not too many weeks I would likely be not only far behind the rest of the class, but very tempted to exceed my boundaries. (Josh, Grouchy Chris, and my naturopath have all made comments about how I can be really dumb, and I am trying to remember not to be dumb.) I was not too happy in there.

But I look great in Gimp Slow Beginner Yoga. My hamstrings are still tight, but generally my flexibility is coming along really well. I am getting pretty good at just about any pose in class that resembles flopping in a crumpled heap.

I start out by replying, “I’m not very strong, so when I’m stronger, I guess, and have more stamina…” and then I realize that I’m making Level I sound really intimidating, so I babble on, “… flexibility isn’t my limiting factor, because I have this damn chronic fatigue syndrome, so blah blah blah…”

Shut up, Cam! Random Yoga Student doesn’t want to hear about how you have CFIDS! It’s pretty rare that folks do, unless they are close to or are themselves someone who has CFIDS or fibro or lupus or some other weirdo invisible disability. CFIDS explains an awful lot about me that can otherwise be wildly misinterpreted; at the same time, talking about it can make people squirm and even pout. I’m still learning how to navigate this particular social minefield.

Well, perhaps I should just say, “I’m going to give it another try in six months.” I am gaining stamina and strength. That’s great; I’d plateaued a few years ago, but this last year I’ve really managed to make some strides. Just the other day I picked up the aluminum stepladder from the front yard and carried it into the back, and it wasn’t a huge production. Marvelous! On some quiet days I don’t even have to take a long nap. And doing the laundry is no longer a Herculean task. My brain is less foggy, though I did just tell Josh he was wearing “muppet chops”, not mutton chops. (A mistake, I swear.) I’ve buckled down, and it’s paying off like crazy.

I think today is my one-year anniversary of starting yoga class. Yay!

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