Dreams 23 Feb 2005 09:14 am
the pneumatic petting zoo
Last night I dreamed that I was alone in a children’s museum that was all about animals. There was a sort of petting zoo operated with giant pneumatic tubes. You’d be in a room watching animal documentaries, and when you saw an animal you wanted to meet you’d press a button and it’d be delivered to you, encased in ice from the neck down so that it wouldn’t scrabble in the tubes or attack the patrons. Press another button, and it’d be taken away.
The petting zoo system was broken, so I figured I’d just watch the documentaries. But one of them was so exciting that I lost my head and unthinkingly ordered a polar bear. Which arrived. Thunk! Turns out only the return was broken. I briefly petted the bear’s broad, confused-looking head, and realized that once the ice melted, I could be in big trouble.
I left the room, shutting the door firmly behind me, and ran downstairs to find a guy working on the machinery. “Um, excuse me,” I said. “I’ve just done the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my life.” He grumbled a little, in a friendly way, and said he’d deal with it. Apparently the polar bear thing was a known problem. Then he handed me a set of delicate little scrapers and set me to cleaning out some tiny channels that had gotten clogged. When he got back from handling the polar bear situation, I was still working; we hung out for a while, chatting and working on the machinery.
9 Responses to “the pneumatic petting zoo”
on 23 Feb 2005 at 9:31 am 1.Canyonwren said …
“I unthinkingly ordered a polar bear” has got to be the funniest thing I’ve read in a while.
on 23 Feb 2005 at 9:41 am 2.Ted said …
Zipping through pneumatic tubes
Frozen just like big ice cubes
Polar bears are never rubes
In Churchill, Manitoba
on 23 Feb 2005 at 9:51 am 3.Cam said …
Polar bears are cold and dazed,
but when they warm up, hell is raised;
order one? You must be crazed
in Churchill, Manitoba.
on 23 Feb 2005 at 10:42 am 4.desolina said …
just don’t eat the liver.
on 23 Feb 2005 at 11:49 am 5.Other Josh said …
Mechanics clean and grease the gears
But still the zoo’s been broke for years
Because it’s always jammed by — bears
In Churchill, Manitoba
on 23 Feb 2005 at 1:00 pm 6.TamIAm said …
It makes me happy just to hear
of bears that clog pneumatic gear
I would go there every day
to Churchill, Manitoba
on 23 Feb 2005 at 4:15 pm 7.Mia said …
Though polar bears cause quite a fuss,
When jamming gears so torturous,
At least it wasn’t a rhinoceros
in Churchill, Manitoba.
on 23 Feb 2005 at 4:34 pm 8.TamIAm said …
p.s. ‘day’ should be ‘year’ in my comment. Hmmph.
on 24 Feb 2005 at 6:17 am 9.Anonymous said …
Laughing to tears. So, when are we going on a group trip?