Food 29 Jul 2005 02:15 pm
world domination is a girly drink
Melanie McFarland, the P-I TV columnist, is slogging through the summer press tour. She reports that FOX hosted a “Family Guy”-themed lunch with a martini bar. Ms. McFarland grabbed a cocktail menu to share with the world. (Scroll down for the menu.)
The cocktails actually sound pretty good to me. They appear to tend to the sweet and girly, but with such names as “World Domination”, “Evil Monkey”, and “Victory Is Mine!” Maybe you cocktail-knowledgeable people out there will recognize them under some other name. “Victory Is Mine!” sounds the best to me; it’s basically a vodka gimlet with raspberries.
Incidentally, I have some strong feelings about the vodka gimlet. I like them a lot, but I never order them in bars because people do such terrible things to them. Powdered sugar is right out. Egg white is also right out. Geez. Rose’s Lime Cordial is classic, but I prefer fresh lime juice and simple syrup. (If I wanted classic, I’d be drinking gin.) And did I mention no egg white? Okay.
Update: Mia and Josh point out that the menu is pretty repetitious: vodka and this juice, vodka and that juice… And Brian’s martini is all wrong. That dog’s a gin drinker. So, how would you construct drinks with those names? My answer’s in the comments.
on 29 Jul 2005 at 2:36 pm 1.Mia said …
I’m disappointed. I always thought Brian the Dog would be drinking “real” (a.k.a. gin) martinis (and I’m not much of a gin person). Apparently there shall be no liquors before (or after or during) vodka.
Although the menu does sound kinda tasty, the martini seems to be the only drink that veers away from the vodka+citrus+other-stuff formula, and only because it has no citrus.
Insert obligatory quip about “formulaic and predictable offerings” here.
on 29 Jul 2005 at 3:59 pm 2.Cam Sculpin said …
True enough. (Does Fox own Absolut or something? Cripes.)
If I were creating these drinks, I would think that World Domination should involve some liquor less inoffensive than vodka. And that Evil Monkey should be related to piña coladas and the Flaming Rum Monkey. Giggety Goo is clearly a gelatin shooter. (That might not be so great for a lunchtime drink, but hey.)
I suspect, however, that the press will take any alcohol they can get at that point.
Is “Family Guy” formulaic and predictable? I haven’t been able to stand it long enough to find out. My reaction is basically, “All these people are screeching their fool heads off. I’m going away, closing the door, and putting in earplugs.”
on 29 Jul 2005 at 4:10 pm 3.Mia said …
It’s the Fox mocks family dysfunction formula, made more interesting by a megalomaniacal baby and a sharp-witted alcoholic dog. It can actually be funny at times.
on 29 Jul 2005 at 5:37 pm 4.Cam Sculpin said …
Hm. Maybe if I were deaf. I suppose I could simulate that.
on 29 Jul 2005 at 7:49 pm 5.Karlos said …
It can be funny at times, but I find that outweighed by its overwhelming reliance on continuous pop culture references. I got sick of it pretty fast.
on 30 Jul 2005 at 6:53 am 6.Velma said …
I occasionally order a vodka gimlet with Absolut Kurant — I like the combination of flavors; and I’m with you: fresh lime juice and simple syrup will make a better gimlet (classic, vodka, or flavored vodka) than Rose’s.