Uncategorized 06 Aug 2005 07:01 pm
parasol notes
In an off-topic comment on ButterfliesandWheels, Ophelia Benson explains why drivers of large vehicles so often do stupid, dangerous things such as barrelling into a crowd of pedestrians and cyclists at Blakeley and 25th. “It’s The Majesty of the Car, you see – the sacred car must never be made to stop for the mere human. The bigger the car is, the truer that is – more big, more majestic, is why.”
Occurs to me that if this were literally true, then one strategy for pedestrian safety would be to appear to be other than merely human.
I’ve been thinking about ordering some more parasols. If I got an orange one and painted enormous eyes and claws on it, maybe it could function as a sort of Terror-Eyes, fooling bird-brained SUV drivers into believing that I am not a mere disposable pedestrian but a huge, dangerous predatory bird.
Also, it would look cool.
Actually, I bet it would work. I have noticed that drivers are more likely to see me and allow me my right-of-way if I’m carrying my little white parasol. I was just thinking yesterday that it’d be a good idea to buy a really garish umbrella for pedestrian safety in winter months.
on 07 Aug 2005 at 4:38 am 1.Rechercher said …
It seems to me that the general rule is, the bigger the car, the bigger the a-hole. This works for size of price, too.
on 07 Aug 2005 at 7:47 am 2.jesse said …
“I’ve been thinking about ordering some more parasols.”
You know, I don’t hear that enough.
on 07 Aug 2005 at 9:33 am 3.Sarah said …
I have an umbrella with many Mona Lisas on it. It tends to get attention and keep me run-over-free.
on 07 Aug 2005 at 3:02 pm 4.cissa said …
I am utterly in love with the Terror-Eyes Umbrella concept. I wonder what sort of eyes and talons would be the most effective… But even in the lack of such knowledge, it would be the coolest thing EVER. I’d even use it, and I generally prefer wetness to umbrellas!
If you ever make such and want to barter, let me know…
*off to fantasize about terrorizing SUVs*
on 07 Aug 2005 at 6:20 pm 5.naomi said …
You might also try pushing around a big stroller with a fake baby in it. Poke it out into traffic to test for stopping!