Reading and Language 14 Aug 2005 05:32 pm
“My dog is Tom Cruise”
“I have to tell you, things are good. I am . . . I am . . . Whooo! . . . I am very good. I just returned from a walk and . . . HA! Things. Are. Good. I’ve got a bowl of hard kibble with some soft stuff mixed in. My name’s on the bowl! I am passionate about this lamb-and-rice recipe. What’s been going on? HAHA! I’m so in love with this bitch! HAHAHA! I can’t . . . I’m so . . . I can’t restrain myself. HAHAHAHAHAHA! We met at the park. She was in the run for little dogs . . . ’cause she’s, well . . . HA!”
From “My Dog Is Tom Cruise” by Noah Baumbach, The New Yorker 2005-07-25
In line at the grocery store today, Josh wondered aloud about the various Brad/Jen/Angelina stories that were in the tabloids on display. And I was, I regret to say, able to inform him. You know how I know this crap? Because I run across it as I’m engaging in America’s new favorite pastime: reading about the madness of Tom Cruise. As in today, at Slate, where I read:
During a visit with fiancée Katie Holmes’ mom and dad, “Tom apparently got excited while explaining Scientology and questioning Catholicism,” Star reports. “Naturally, this would upset the Holmeses.”
I bet.
on 14 Aug 2005 at 6:50 pm 1.Mia said …
But the world needs a new celebrity train-wreck now that Michael Jackson’s even more over than he used to be. At least the Tom Cruise meltdown-o-rama is entertaining. It means there’ll be sequels to that old Tom Cruise joke, “You know that movie with Tom Cruise? The one where he plays that cocky young guy?”
on 14 Aug 2005 at 9:39 pm 2.co149 said …
Guess it’s too much to hope the whole Scientology organization will melt down from embarrassment, huh?
on 14 Aug 2005 at 9:46 pm 3.Cam Sculpin said …
Maybe, but I won’t let that stop me.
on 15 Aug 2005 at 10:41 pm 4.shauna said …
I’m a little ashamed, and delighted, to say that I actually watched the Oprah show with Tom Cruise on it. My god, I thought he was drunk. Maybe he has been on a three-month bender.
Doesn’t poor Katie Holmes look cowed all the time? And she’s doing that fake smile–all teeth, no eyes–we all did for our first-grade photos. I’d be afraid if I were here.