Uncategorized 07 May 2008 09:36 pm

Mineral oil shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

Savannah linked to a ridiculous thread about the safety of mineral oil.

As I said in her journal, I learned all sorts of things from that thread:

  1. Mineral oil causes miniaturization, or rather the illusion of miniaturization.
  2. Shooting yourself in the foot can kill you, but will probably just make you look stupid.
  3. Crackers don’t breathe.
  4. Some people swear that mineral oil can turn your eyes to coal.
  5. Which is funny, because coal is actually caused by old bush fires.
  6. Even smelling mineral oil kills children.
  7. Mineral oil is THE #2 CAUSE OF ELDERY DEATH.

I suspect that the person who thinks that the smell of mineral oil kills children is repeating something garbled about lipid pneumonia; probably they didn’t quite have a handle on what “aspiration” meant in that context. It’s true that mineral oil in the lungs is bad news.

5 Responses to “Mineral oil shot a man in Reno just to watch him die”

  1. on 07 May 2008 at 10:39 pm 1.Kristin said …

    Aw, what does old coal-for-eyes know?

    (Sorry, I just wanted to say something about eyes of coal. Did they also have a carrot nose?)

  2. on 07 May 2008 at 10:44 pm 2.surlyben said …

    “Mineral oil is THE #2 CAUSE OF ELDERY DEATH.”

    #1 is, of course, sharks.

  3. on 07 May 2008 at 11:27 pm 3.Kristin said …

    #1 is, of course, sharks.

    Bears.

  4. on 08 May 2008 at 10:23 am 4.Savannah said …

    Oh my God, surlyben slays me. Also: Kristen.

  5. on 08 May 2008 at 10:36 am 5.Ted said …

    Hmmph. If crackers don’t breathe, then what are those holes for?

Subscribe to the comments through RSS Feed

Leave a Reply